The Importance of Female Role Models

The Importance of female Role Models

The Importance of Female Role Models

There is no doubt about it, I am my mother’s son.   What would you expect? My father died when I was eight years old.  During my formative years, I was brought up solely by my mother.  I believe this is a unique lens in which to see both life and financial independence.  As the years pass, I feel lucky.  The importance of female role models cannot be underestimated.  Especially for little boys.

Most everything I have become today bears my mother’s influence.  Most people, when asked about their financial upbringing, tell some story or another about what their dad taught them.  

For me, these vital lessons came from my mother.

Do What Needs To be Done

The day after my father died, my uncle had to teach my mom how to write a check.  Although luckily she was just months away from finishing business school, she had none of the practical knowledge about how to run the household finances.

Overwhelmed by grief and and thrown into a whirlwind of new responsibilities, it wouldn’t have been surprising for her to have let things slide.  

But she didn’t.  She took over the financial reigns of the family.  She entered the field of public accounting which at the time was overwhelmingly male, single, and right out of college.  

And she did what needed to be done.  The importance of female role models for me was to be in awe of my mother’s stamina.  There were so many times when the journey became grueling, and the road appeared long and hard.  

Yet she just kept going.

The Importance of Female Role Models

Sacrifice Is Not a Four Letter Word

She had three boys to take care.  Three college educations looming distantly in the future.  There was no question that it was going to be a stretch on her one professional salary.  

She was prepared to sacrifice.

Before she went into business for herself and got remarried, she was planning to sell our house in order to fund her children’s educational needs.   She had planned to live in a little apartment by herself and save up money.

My mother often withheld luxury from herself so that we could go on nice vacations and own nice things.  She never wanted us to realize how precarious our economic situation could have become, nor did she want us to feel like we were missing out on anything.  

The importance of female role models in my life was to learn that sacrificing for those you love is meaningful and important. 

Women of Power

My mother is one of the most powerful people I know.  I learned this during childhood.  So it was no surprise that I not only expected similar behavior, but sought out women of the same caliber throughout my life.  I never grew up with the boyhood belief that somehow girls were less than, weaker, or less capable.  

The importance of female role models is that, unlike some men of my generation, I feel completely comfortable with women in leadership roles.  

I have sought out strong women both personally and professionally over the years, and feel that it has greatly enhanced my life.

Final Thoughts

I feel utterly lucky to grow up realizing the importance of female role models.  When my father died, my mother showed us kids that she could do whatever was necessary.  She expertly maneuvered her way through career and life not only providing for but also protecting her children.  She ingrained in me this belief that women are powerful mentally, physically, and emotionally.  

I am my mother’s son.  

And I’m damn proud of that.  

Doc G

A doctor who discovered the FI community but still struggling with RE.

You may also like...

11 Responses

  1. Heather Ali says:

    I love this. My 22 year old daughter died last year 4 months after giving birth to my grandson. (PPCM misdiagnosed as postpartum PTSD & anxiety.) His biological father is not in the picture and I’ve basically even raising him since he was born going back to the NICU as my daughter was so sick & weak she couldn’t be at his bedside as often as she wanted to be, so I’d spend half my day caring for her & the other half at the NICU caring for him. I often worry about the lack of his biological father’s involvement. My husband is an AMAZING father to him so I’m grateful he does have a wonderful father in his life but to hear you talk about how you noticed the adversity your mother faced when you lost your father makes my heart so happy. I hope he will see the same strength in me. I still have many days even a year and a half later where the grief of losing my daughter is so unbearable that all I want to do is lay in bed with the covers over my head & cry but I don’t. I do what needs to be done, and while I make sure to let the baby see me cry occasionally or talk about how I miss my daughter to teach him that grieving is healthy & appropriate, I shield him from the bawling, sobbing, can’t-catch-my-breath ugly cry wailing because I know he depends on me to be his strength. I’m so glad your mother was able to be strong for you. I’m so sorry you lost your father. And I can only hope to live up to the greatness you observed and identified in your mother. 💜

    • Doc G says:

      Your love, care, and genuine grief with help bring up a healthy child with a good strong sense of family, and a healthy respect for women. I am sorry for your loss.

  2. E says:

    Agree, such an important topic. What a beautiful relationship you have with your mom. So many gifts and feminine wisdom, perspective that has shaped and inspired you. What a blessing that you share them with your family and all you encounter, including all of us on the other end of the computer screen 🙂 Thank you.

  3. It’s funny, but I feel the same about growing up surrounded by mostly boys. It was just chance, but I had 2 brothers, all boy cousins, and mostly boys on the street where I grew up. Becoming an engineer and working in a field surrounded by nearly all men was comfortable for me because of that. I suspect it was the most important reason we are in the financial position we are now. So is it more important for me to be a role model to girls or to men?

  4. Gasem says:

    Girls, boys, success, in this country the distinction is largely artificial and part of a narrative. Heck Suze O is worth 30M and I can’t understand a freekin’ word she says. There is something fundamentally and subcortically biologic about how boys love their moms however. It shows through in your writing.

    • Doc G says:

      I think there are true gendered differences (maybe forced by societal norms) that we can learn from.

      • Gasem says:

        The studies show it’s biology. Girls are interested in people and boys in things. The narrative wants it to be societal and repressive. Commitment to freedom allows the phenotype to express itself unimpeded.

  5. Dr. McFrugal says:

    I can definitely share a similar sentiment. My mother is an accountant and she handled all of the finances in our household. She would run spreadsheets that I can barely make sense of. She is very shrewd in handling money, budgeting, and finance. Heck, she still handles my taxes and does a very good job!

    I also have two sisters and we are very close. A lot of my friends growing up were female. And like you, I sought our strong, independent, powerful women as a life partner. My wife is a former track athlete and NCAA div I collegiate rower (may not look like it, but she is :).

    Anyway, I think having female role models is vitally important. Growing up, it definitely shaped the lens in which I view the world. Definitely a good and amazing thing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.