Failure is a Comma, Not an Exclamation Point

I failed today.  That’s right.  I had every intention of things going well, and had even gone as far as visualizing how the day was going to play out.  I did all the prep work.  Familiarized myself with all the guests.  I did everything I could to assure success.  But so much ended up being out of my hands.  Paul got stuck at the airport with a delayed flight.  The audio and video were glitchy.  And then there was a scheduling mixup across time zones.  Yet I kept trying to make it work.  until Paul jumped in and suggested we pull the plug.  He was right of course.  We could have just kept trying to do CPR on a dead episode, or we could cut our losses and move on.  We could always reschedule.  But I can’t shake the sense of  giving up.  Failure is a comma, not an exclamation point.

I sometimes forget this.  I forget my history as a seven-figure failure and fall into the dark place of missed opportunities and self loathing.

Pause

There is a satisfaction in thinking of achievement as motion.  Momentum.  We carry this metaphor with such catchy phrases as moving forward or failing forward.  We graduate to the next level.  Get a new round of funding.  Or take it a step further.

With all this motion, failure often feels like a hard stop.   A road block.  To fail is to quell this motion and stand still.  We don’t grow when we stand still.

But what are we to do?

I try to act as if failure is a comma, not an exclamation point.  It is a natural pause.  A slowing of motion.  A chance to recollect oneself and start moving again.  Often we move in the same direction but with more care or even a better road map.

Paul and I will plan better next time.  We will reschedule and be more explicit.  We will try to provide better back up plans.

Full Stop

There are times when failure does provide a full stop.  Some opportunities are truly once in a life time, and the inability to successfully maneuver them requires a complete tactical about-face.  These moments are difficult for sure, but not mortal.

Even in these rare situations failure is a comma, not an exclamation point.  Just because one lane closes up doesn’t mean that there aren’t alternative routes that eventually get you to the desired destination.

This venture that I have been spending so much time on may not ultimately bring me the purpose and creativity that I was hoping for.  i still don’t know.  But the accrued knowledge will eventually lead to a path that will.

Ultimately I will find a way to create purpose, identity,  and connection in the world either here our elsewhere.

Final Thoughts

I am feeling quite sensitive about my failure today.  It’s not that the stakes were so incredibly high or that damage is uncontrollable.  It’s that my sense of momentum has been deflated.  And we all want to feel like we are moving forward.

Yet I have learned over time that failure is a comma, not an exclamation point.  That is it the manure that you use to till your fields.  The you might have to slop through a little crap to get to eventual bounty.

I may still not like it.

But today it will have to do.

FYI, I have been intentionally opaque about my new venture.  It will be announced soon enough, but don’t want to dig into the details at the moment.  Although the hints have been numerous, we will be live soon.