Good Decision/Bad Decision: Financial Independence and Narcissism
Good Decision/Bad Decision
Today’s subject will hopefully be part of a regular series of Monday posts. As you recall, I recently started Gratitude Wednesdays. This series will focus on my past decisions to shed light on some financial and emotional wins and losses. My hope is to discover what I did right, and help others avoid my mistakes. Whether epic fail or triumphant victory, these were my decisions. The topic for today is pursuing financial independence and narcissism.
Narcissism:extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
There is no denying it. To travel on this path of financial freedom requires a certain amount of self-centeredness. We spend years exploring our inward spending habits, frugality, and savings rate. We focus on ourselves and family, often leaving the hard work of saving the world to others.
Taking care of ourselves and our finances is important and responsible.
But are we being selfish?
Good Decision
As adults living in this society, we have certain responsibilities. Among these is the task of making enough money to support the needs of ourselves and our family. By being commander of our own ship, we not only release our government from covering this responsibility, we also generate tax that supports the infrastructure of our community.
The cost of fulfilling this role in society is learning a trade or providing a service which generates income. While in a perfect world this would be highly enjoyable, for most of us, work is tolerated at best and dreaded at worst.
It is only reasonable for those in the latter group to strive to end this indentured servitude as fast as possible. In this case, the link between financial independence and narcissism seems more tenuous.
Why wouldn’t you quit as soon as possible? Why wouldn’t you stop wasting your precious hours on an activity that is distinctly unpleasurable?
In the financial independence community we create a positive example for others as well as our children about financial responsibility, stewardship, and integrity. I can’t imagine how this could be looked at negatively
Bad Decision
The world doesn’t revolve around money. Your relationship to personal finance, while important, is rather insular and introverted. Financial independence and narcissism can be intimately connected. When one turns inward and spends all energy and focus on net worth, the blinders come up.
It’s a great big world out there. The meaning of life is not nearly so self-centered. There is struggle and knowledge. Suffering and pain.
Should one not focus on being a good human being, changing the world, and giving to those in need?
While financial independence doesn’t preclude these thoughts and actions, being overly concerned with our bank accounts can be distracting.
Put most simply, you are worth more than your net worth. Why spend so much time aggressively working towards that goal instead of changing the world?
In Summary
So, obviously, I am a great supporter of personal finance. But I do worry about this connection between financial independence and narcissism. The ability to lose oneself in their own little world of saving, budgeting and investing, at it’s most extreme, is probably unhealthy.
We have a responsibility to economically take care of ourselves, our children, and our community. We also have a personal goal of being happy and enjoying life.
Financial independence allows us to meet these responsibilities and reach these goals.
However, money is not an end unto itself. The joy of all this inward soul-searching, hopefully, is to have the freedom to look outward. To get out of our personal situation and touch the world.
How do we do this?
- Charity
- Volunteerism
- Relationship building
- Financial counseling
This so called “narcissism” early in our lives gives us great power to affect those around us as we move forward. No longer trapped in the day-to-day inconveniences of making a living, our time is now free to do something good for society.
How about you? How do you balance the narcissism necessary to reach financial independence with the joy of being part of a community. Can you give to charity while striving towards financial freedom? When you’re in debt?
I totally agree with your Doc G. There IS some narcissism in the journey to financial independence. Of course not all narcissism is bad. There is a healthy sense of narcissism where you are taking care of yourself. And then there’s pathological narcissism in which a person is so obsessed with themselves that they are in reality a hazard for themselves and others.
I think the journey of financial independence is a healthy type of narcissism. Doctors (and people in general), have to take care of themselves, so that they can better take care of others. It’s like the airline safety videos… always put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping your children or others.
I think the airline safety metaphor is apt!
I would like to counter that there are so many examples of path to financial independence that are absolutely the opposite of narcissistic. I have found the community of FIRE bloggers some of the most helpful individuals out there. It is refreshing to see people realize that we can all win and me being happy doesn’t have to take away from your happiness. There is so much encouragement in all these blogs that are made by people who are financially independent and want to support others join their journey to get a similar happy outcome. I have also had so much helpful comments and support starting my new physician finance blog which shows that we as a group are not narcissistic at all and genuinely want each other to succeed. It is a stark contrast from in medical school where you are pitted head to head against your classmates for grades to get the best rotations and subsequent best residencies/specialties.
Points all ell taken. This community can be very kind and open. I think there is a lot of giving here!
To me, the general purpose of life should be to serve others. Of course you have to take care of yourself first to do that – kind of like the airplane speech of putting on your own oxygen mask before you help the person next to you. But ultimately we should all look outwards.
The plane analogy seems to best fit the situation.
I can see where you are coming from, but I don’t think it’s that selfish pursuing FI – as ultimately most of us will use our free time for the good of society.
And moreover, it’s actually much harder to challenge and question society when you need a job, you have much more freedom when those shackles have been removed.
Agreed. If you don’t take care of yourself first, it’s hard to help others.
I don’t see it as narcissism, and I don’t see it resulting in some need to “help others” because of some phony guilt over successfully executing a plan. My wealth is strictly due to the fact I worked hard, lived responsibly and paid attention to securing the future. I see the endeavor as an exercise in responsibility. The label narcissist might be placed on you by someone’s jealousy. They are welcome to their jealousy and I am welcome to my peace.