You Are What You Own

Pulling into the garage, my wife and I immediately knew something was wrong.  The screen door to the back entrance was ajar and we both noticed a whir of movement from the family room windows.  A moment later,  a stranger walked out of the house with our big screen TV in hand.  He looked straight at us, dropped the television, and started to sprint towards the front of the yard.  While I dialed the police with my mobile, my wife quickly pulled out of the garage with every intention to pursue.  In those few moments before the thief got away, a blur of thoughts scrambled through my mind.  It is only years later as I write this blog post that I finally realize the lesson from this ordeal.  You are what you own.

Our house was a mess.  My wife’s engagement ring, watches, a few cameras, and other small expensive trinkets were gone.  Although the suspect was eventually apprehended,  we never found any of our things.  After much painful negotiation, the insurance gave us a moderate cash settlement which we then used to buy more stuff.

Over the years the feelings of vulnerability have slowly faded and the junk has re accumulated in our house.

None of that, however, defines who we are.  Stuff comes and goes.  Things are given and taken, borrowed and stolen.

Who you are as a person is more profound.

Skills

You are what you own.  And what you own is skill.  I have years under my belt training as a physician.  I have also learned through trial and error how to build and run a business.  These skills define who I am and how I interact with the world.  Unlike that which clutters my house, they cannot be stolen, borrowed, or discarded.  They are part of me.

Many of you out there have both hard and soft skills.  You might be an accountant, or coder.  You write or create art.  Have you have graduated from a degree program or undergone on the job training?

It goes deeper.  Sometimes your skill set is more innate.  Are good with people?  Maybe you have an eye for detail.  Possibly you excel at speaking in front of a crowd.

Whatever your abilities may be, they are what you bring to the world.

Relationships

You are a husband and son.  A daughter and wife.  You’re someone’s best friend.

Your relationships will do more to define who you are than anything else.  They will create the lens in which the world sees you and in which you see yourself.  There is no greater accomplishment than loving someone.  No higher mark of humanity.

You are what you own and you own your relationships.  Like a wise investment, they will become more valuable with time.  The dividends will make you truly wealthy.

No one can steal this from you.  No dip in stocks can decimate this asset.

Memories

Of all the things I lost from the burglary, it was memories that hurt the most.  Not the memories themselves, but the objects in which we celebrate those memories.  The loss of my wife’s engagement ring was heartbreaking.  Not because we couldn’t buy another, but because that little band of platinum with a rock stuck on top symbolized something deeper and more profound.

The loss of the ring, however, did nothing to tarnish the memories of our engagement or the magic of our wedding day.  It’s disappearance was simply one less visual reminder of something that we owned deep down inside.

Don’t Be Fooled

You are what you own, but what you own is much more than the sum total of the stuff that clutters your house.  You are an amalgam of the skills, relationships, and memories that are uniquely yours.

They cannot be bought.

They cannot be stolen.

So move over hedonic treadmill.  We have no more space in our lives.

We don’t need you anymore.