Limiting Beliefs
Limiting Beliefs
It is like I have an antennae. A radar. I attract these people like moths to a flame. I was just finishing up with a talk that I was giving to a medical conference, and I decided to partake in the buffet served directly afterwards. I really enjoy having the time to hob knob with conference attendees. Especially because I usually swoop in as a speaker and then leave. It’s a lot more fun to actually interact with the audience.
So I sidled up to a table with a plate full of sumptuous food spilling over the edges, and asked two gentleman if I could join them. Of course, the conversation eventually somehow turned to real estate.
And that’s when things got interesting!
“I Could Never Do That”
One gentleman was espousing the benefits of real estate. He was an avid investor, stock market studier, and a young retiree. He left his physician job in his forties when he realized that he had more than enough wealth to live on. He owned ten properties, and had his hands into a number of small business ventures. He was exactly what most people in our community aspire to be. The physicians at least.
Yet, the other gentleman who was at our table, looked at him incredulously. It was like he couldn’t grasp what he was hearing.
How do you have enough money if you are not working as a doctor?
How do you afford life?
Isn’t real estate risky?
The questions came a mile a minute. Each one of them more negative and unbelieving than the last. Clearly he wasn’t buying what was being sold. Especially the real estate part. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around how anyone could make money on real estate.
Not In My Area
According to our naysayer, real estate was too expensive in his area. After mortgage, upkeep, and other extraneous costs, there was no way a profit could be made. He was convinced, and there was no telling him otherwise.
Yet, when I dug deeper, it was clear that he only had a superficial knowledge. He had no clue what real estate actually cost in the area. He hadn’t studied the rental market. His estimate on yearly repair costs was way off. In fact, he had no idea even how much he would have to put down for a property, or how he would finance it.
He simply had every excuse and no inkling of hope or understanding. And he was rather happy about it. He was happy to complain about his current employment and financial situation without the interruption of any proposed solutions.
It Can’t be Done
He had already decided that it can’t be done before he ever even tried to learn a better way. His limiting beliefs were so powerful that it would take more than a few successful strangers to persuade him otherwise.
Like so many, he was trapped in his own little world of doom and gloom with an air of helplessness and mediocrity.
And we (me and the other gentleman) were wasting our breath. Because he had no interest in hearing that with a little work and knowledge, he could live a better, more free life.
Pissing In The Wind?
Are we pissing in the wind? We write our blogs and give our talks, but is anyone listening? Does it matter?
The answer is both gratifying and sad at the same time. Probably seventy five percent of people are stuck in these same type of limiting beliefs, and are no more apt to listen to logic and reason than the gentleman I describe above.
Twenty five percent, however, maybe will do better if they know better. So we are talking to those twenty five percent.
Not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.
“He simply had every excuse and no inkling of hope or understanding. And he was rather happy about it. He was happy to complain about his current employment and financial situation without the interruption of any proposed solutions.”
> This is the thing that is most strange, being happy with the current situation. I wonder whether this is genuine happiness or whether the possibility that he might be wrong is too painful / scary to countenance?
“We write our blogs and give our talks, but is anyone listening? Does it matter?”
>The people reading the blogs and (at least some of the people hearing your talks) are listening. Does it matter, anything which has the capability to change and improve lives definitely matters.
Perhaps your naysayer wouldn’t listen to you and the other gentleman (he’d just met you after all) but perhaps he might listen to a loved one, a spouse, a trusted spouse etc… Sometimes it’s not only the message that is important but also how it is delivered and who it is delivered by (including how many times the message is delivered). Some people are harder to reach than others but I don’t think that’s a reason to stop trying to spread a message that can really help people transform their lives. It’s not a reason to stop trying to spread a message that is worth listening to.
HH
What topics do you speak about at these medical conferences?
it’s the same with stocks. “if you think you can’t, you’re right.” mrs. smidlap has kind of an aloof friend and i was talking to her husband years ago about investments and things of that nature. it was before i knew as much as i know now but we were just chatting. she said to him “i don’t think you should be talking to FREDDY about investing.” i would never help them with it, ever, after that.
all that being said i’ve run across people who have read something i’ve written who have made moves in a positive direction as a result. the thing is: they aren’t the type to make a blog comment so i would never have otherwise known. i think your blog reaches more receptive eyeballs and does more good than you might realize.
A few people have started blogs after reading my blog or something I wrote. That’s the reason I do it, just affecting even a few people for the better is good in my book.
*Raises hand* I’m one of those people who started blogging after something you wrote on your blog that encouraged me to follow suit. 🙂
I’m a long time investor, so I can speak from experience when I teach all my young colleagues. They’re generally receptive once they see actual numbers of what they could have if they invest. But I can see those wheels turning in their heads about what they’re “sacrificing” to invest those dollars instead of spending them. Even so, more of them have chosen to save and invest than haven’t.
Yesterday I got one to reconsider how much she and her husband can reasonably afford for their first home, especially because they want to start a family in the next few years. They hadn’t taken into consideration the large mortgage plus day care plus the possibility of her likely wanting to reduce her work hours. Now it’s on her mind.