Happiness Evolves

Happiness Evolves

We like to talk about financial independence, but it really isn’t a goal, it is more like a tool or a mirage. Maybe it is a false goal. In reality, we are all looking for happiness. I actually prefer the term contentment, but the terminology is less important than the idea. There is a yearned for state of peace that we try desperately to achieve. Financial independence is one way. Chasing experiences is another. In my own life, I have found that my notion of happiness evolves over time.

What once I thought was most germane, I now find far less relevant. Money and experiences have both taken this route.

Let me explain.

Step 1: Make Money

There is no doubt that early in life I strove to make money. It wasn’t the only consideration. Heck, I thought back then that being a doctor would fill my sense of purpose. But making money was a tangible goal that I somehow saw leading to lifelong contentment.

Financial independence was a natural extension of this thinking. Even before I found the movement. If I could work really hard and make enough, then the world would be my oyster. Joy would become my default. I would have all I ever needed.

The closer I got to financial independence, the more I realized that happiness evolves. Just being financially independent wouldn’t solve all my life issues. It solved only one. Lack of funds.

Step 2: Chase Experience

If money was not the ultimate answer, than it must be experiences, right? So I tried to latch on to the travel craze. I wanted to throw myself into as many new things and places as possible. You only live once and don’t want to fall prey to the fear of missing out.

So don’t miss out. Use that boon of financial independence to fund a vast array of experiences. Do them with people you love and catalogue each moment on social media and in scrap books.

But happiness evolves. I quickly learned that travelling is not my Why of financial independence. In fact, it exhausts me. So does jumping forward to be part of every new opportunity.

And people are great, but forcing time with my loved ones was not making things any better either. Especially my kids who are growing up and trying to individuate. They need their space.

Step 3: Mindset

So I have landed on mindset. I am starting to think that true contentment is an odd mixture of the uncontrollable chemical make up of the brain on any given day, and the controllable mindset by which you approach it.

What are the controllable factors that lead to the happiness mindset? Here are a few that I can tick off from the top of my head: repetition (habit), exercise, meditation, learning, and gratitude (love).

That’s it. Money won’t make you happy. Experiences won’t make you happy. Happiness evolves with the practice of the above listed habits.

Final Thoughts

So why bother with financial independence? Because it is a tool to focus on those other things. Money has its place. So do new experiences and travel. I am not arguing to forsake those completely.

But happiness evolves past those things if you let it.