The Early Retirement Fear Factor
The Early Retirement Fear Factor
This morning we are recording an episode for The What’s Up Next Podcast with three spouses of high income wage earners. These individuals have had to step back from their professional activities, and taken a supporting role when it comes to the family finances. As hard as it is to walk away from one’s career and bring up the children, I think the financial independence community poses even more difficult hurdles. Namely, the early retirement fear factor.
Can you imagine how scary it feels to a spouse who has given up their income potential to find that their partner is planning on stepping out of the work force? We rarely talk about this phenomenon but I can’t imagine that it doesn’t exist.
Here are some ways I think this plays out.
Money
It is never easy to give up one’s source of revenue generation and skill set. The choice to become a stay at home parent (or at least step off the career track) is difficult for most. Not only does step away from joy and accomplishment, the first few years of child rearing are difficult at best.
They are just downright tiring.
The spoils of war, for most, is a spouse who generates a high enough income to bring stability and comfort to life. It seems fitting to the supportive spouse that there should be a certain level of ease when it comes to finances.
I played my part, you play yours!
Yet when the breadwinner starts talking about loosening the reins, I imagine the early retirement fear factor sets in. Did I cast aside my own abilities and career plans just to one day end up in the poor house?
Even a strong financial base may not assuage such feelings.
Budgeting
Spending money becomes the norm. Especially when staying at home slaving over the children. It is the small luxuries that make life worth living. A nice restaurant from time to time. That sunny vacation, or the super nice outfit that has been admired in the store window.
These little perks of having a high wage earning spouse are only fair given the sacrifice a spouse sometimes has to make by putting their own plans on hold.
Yet, the early retirement fear factor sets in when the money making partner starts to talk of cutting back. Budgeting more closely. Making frugality a way of life.
I can imagine it feels like the rug is being pulled out from under one’s feet.
Time
The kids are old enough to be in school. The house is in order. There are a million things to do, but at least your time is your own. You know exactly when your spouse is getting home, you know what needs to be done, and there might even be a breather in there for you to hit the gym.
Until the spouse retires. He/she is now home and instead of helping get things accomplished, is adding to the list of chores. After years of spending days apart, sometimes couples find that they get in each other’s way more than are spending quality time together.
There is nothing wrong with this. We develop our own rhythms. Yet the early retirement fear factor is that two partners will no longer know how to spend time together the way they could before life got in the way.
Final Thoughts
Early retirement can be very positive. And the early retirement fear factor should not stop families from making such decisions. But I imagine for the spouse of a high income wage earner, this transition can feel scary and leave them uneasy.
While these are not insurmountable problems, it would be unjust to pretend that they don’t exist.
