Six Weeks Out

Six Weeks Out

I am about six weeks out from my major career change. As most of you know, I left my nursing home work, and now have settled on a half retirement that consists of an administrative role with a local hospice. Although I consider this to be part time work, I am actually doing the job of a full time employee. But in comparison to before, I have cut down my hours greatly.

In some ways my life has changed drastically. In others, I am surprised at how similar things feel. I know it has only been a few weeks, but I wanted to document how this is all feeling in the early days.

Sorry, Not Sorry

One of my biggest concerns entering this life change was that I would miss seeing patients. By leaving the nursing home portion, I let go of all my direct patient facing activities. In my current role, I advise nurses, chaplains, social workers, and nursing assistants. I help take care of a few hundred hospice patients. But I do it from afar. I no longer don the white coat or even use a stethoscope.

I thought this was going to make me sad or regret my decision. I was wrong. Six weeks out, at least, I have no hankering to get back into the exam room or traipse from patient to patient at a skilled nursing facility.

While I do miss the connection I felt with visiting and caring for people, I also am relieved to let go of the stress, constant phone calls, and anger that I was so often exposed to.

For the first time in awhile I feel like I can breath.

Time Is on My Side?

If I thought I was going to luxuriate in all that extra free time, I was certainly kidding myself. Life has expanded to fill in the cracks. Between writing, the podcast, kids, and some extra duties at home, I am as busy as ever. On top of it all, the leases are up on all four of our condo rental units, so I also have that going too.

But, six weeks out, I have to admit that busy feels different now. My plate is full, but most of it’s contents are of my choosing. In many ways, I can offload the things that I don’t like. So it’s not that there isn’t stress, but the stress is much more manageable and reasonable.

I never wake up in the morning dreading the day to come. There is no sadness on Sunday nights.

My Personality Has Changed

It was while vacationing in Washington D.C. that my wife first remarked on it. My sense of humor is back. It feels like it has been gone forever. At least a decade. But in me, just six weeks out, she is starting to hear echos of who I used to be before everything changed. Before residency, and kids, and responsibility, and expectations.

A part of me had definitely disappeared over the years. A lighthearted, silly, sometimes inappropriate side that I had all but forgotten.

It didn’t go anywhere. It was simply waiting for an opening. A time when the stress levels abated long enough to rear its mischievous head.

Final Thoughts

No. Not everything is perfect. Life is not just one fantastic moment after another. I am human. There are ups and downs.

Six weeks out of the 9 to 5, however, I can definitely say that life is feeling better. My stress levels are low and manageable. My schedule is fuller than ever with things I have chosen to engage in.

And I’m feeling a bit more like me.

The me I used to be.