Rise

We talk a lot about making the right financial moves.  We plot out the common pitfalls and do our best to avoid them.  This is the work of planners.  Spreadsheeters. The intersection of hyper vigilance and hyper organization.  There is this belief that we can get to financial independence only if we learn to make the right moves at the right times.  Yet, there is also an awareness that often success is preceded by failure.   Failure, in fact, is the fertilizer in which we grow our garden.  I think we deny ourselves by overlooking these failures.  We get so caught up worrying about the fall, that we forget that the story of decline is not what is of greatest value.  It is how we rise.

How we shoot up from the depths like a phoenix and  overcome our all to human shortcomings.  As I hear more of the unique stories in the financial independence community, I realize that we all make poor financial decisions at times.  We all dig ourselves into holes that we sometimes can’t get out of.  Whether our own fault or just plain circumstance, the common thread is that we rise.

My Father’s Son

I have very little pride in my financial moves.  I have learned over years to earn, save, and invest.  This has led to financial independence and a modicum of control over my life.   But, it is not the true story of my struggles.

My father died suddenly when I was eight years old.  His death might be interpreted as one of the low points in my life.  The fallout, however,  is one of my most thankful ironies.  His passing, when I was young enough to idolize him, made concrete in me the idea of becoming a physician.

From his death, my rise in medicine began.  I concentrated every moment on school and homework.  i overcame a learning disability and devoted my life to helping other people.

Learning Disabled

I couldn’t read.  As my friends were devouring their beginning readers, I was stuck drawing between the lines of a coloring book.  Neuropsychological testing showed that I had a learning disability but reasonable intelligence.  it appeared that my hopes and dreams of becoming a doctor and following my father’s footsteps were dashed.

My mother hired an education specialist, and the public school systems provided two separate tutors to help me learn how to read.  The progress was slow and painful, but by the time I reached sixth grade, I was on par with my peers.

My rise was brought about by the hard work and caring of so many different teachers, educators, tutors, and my mother.  It taught me that it sometimes takes a community to lift us up.

Residency

I left residency a cold, inhuman, shadow of who I had once been.  After witnessing so much death and destruction, I had built large impenetrable walls around my heart and feelings.  I entered the practice of medicine broken, afraid, and locked in a silo of post traumatic stress.

Watching helplessly as people died, and having infrequent sleep with minimal encouragement had taken its toll.

Until my children were born.  And all that pain and fear inside of me broke apart.  I could no longer protect myself with these  barriers that were not only pushing love and support out, but also locking pain and guilt in.

Family is what helped me rise.

Final thoughts

Successful people, financially or otherwise, are who they are not because of how they have fallen, but how they rise.  Financial independence doesn’t come from making all the right moves.  It doesn’t come from not making mistakes.

So don’t let yourself get caught up with all the details.  Details are important.  Sometimes.  But don’t forget that everyone falls.

The key is what you do when you have fallen.

The key is how you rise.