Silencing My Inner Voice

Silencing My Inner Voice

I have talked in the past about feeling like a financial independence fake.  We all feel this way sometimes.  The impostor syndrome is real and often hard to escape for even the most accomplished.  We have an inner voice.  That voice often warns us of danger and speaks to us on a more poignant level.  But it can also deceive.  It can bring out every criticism and ounce of self loathing and negativity.  At some point, to be successful, I had to become a master of silencing my inner voice.

I know this sounds counterintuitive.  But sometimes I am my worst enemy.

I can think of a number of occasions at critical moments in my life where the only way forward was to ignore that inner nagging, and just leap before I looked.

Building a Business

When I started as a physician, I was an employee of a large medical group.  It soon became clear that no matter how hard I worked, the percentage that I paid to overhead would remain the same regardless of economies of scale.  The harder I worked, the more the business made.  This far overshadowed my own benefits.  I needed to work for myself.

Even though the path forward was clear, the worries and fears bubbled up.

• What if I have trouble building a new practice?
• Who will run the day-to-day operations?
• What if this is much harder than I think?
• You always jump into things you are not ready for!

I had a simple choice.  I could either talk myself out of making a move, or plunge forward.  Silencing my inner voice was the first step in this big adventure.  Learning how to run a business was the next.

But I couldn’t have done all that important learning unless I talked myself off the ledge first.

Half Retirement

This transition I am making now is both triumphant and fearful.  it is triumphant because I finally feel like I am taking control of my life and time.  There is a certain amount of jubilation involved in letting go of those tasks at work you find most trying.

Yet fear is still close at my heals. I can but wonder if I am abandoning my identity as I transition away from full-time doctoring.  Maybe I will be no good at these new ventures that I am seeking.  What if I am a horrible public speaker?  What if my blog begins to bomb?

I have no control over the future.  And only a modicum of control over my own successes and failure.  Silencing my inner voice, however, will give me the chance to succeed or fail.  A battle is lost already if no one has taken the responsibility to fight it.

What’s Up Next?

I have already built some credibility in the personal finance space with this blog.  The move to podcasting is scary.  What if I sully the brand I have been working so hard to cultivate?  More importantly, what if I suck?  Maybe my ability to communicate won’t translate from written to audible content.  Maybe my voice will sound whiney and like nails on a chalk board to my listeners.

If I have worked so hard to win the game, why chance everything now?

The answer, of course, is simple.  Because I must.  Because moving forward and achieving means silencing my inner voice and taking chances.

I long to grow and expand.  There is no other way to do this than to take risks.

Final Thoughts

I certainly have impostor syndrome.  I fear new ventures and have a babbling chorus of naysayers dominating my inner dialogue.  I suspect you do too.

I have chosen to silence my inner voice.

At least when it comes to fear and pessimism.

It may blow up in my face and it may not.

Only time will tell!

Don’t forget to check out episode 1: