Time Stress
Time Stress
I have two Achilles heals. Two mental health issues that continually challenge me no matter how introspective and self-aware I become. One is food. I have talked before about how food was my money. As annoying as that can be, I feel like I have a good hold on that one. With the right intentions and self-control, I no longer have to wrestle with this demon as frequently. The other is time. I am constantly under time stress. Constantly. Even when there is no reason. I am always aware of every clock in a room and can often be seen glancing up at them.
This has been my constant struggle. I have spent half my life rushing through activities to make sure that Iam in the right place at the right time for the next event. While on the surface a good quality, it provides unnecessary stress to myself, my family, and my colleagues.
Why can’t I just slow down?
The Good
I am efficient. Super efficient. My awareness of time and my ability to manage time stress has definitely been beneficial throughout my career. They have helped in the process of work bursting, and allowed me to manage several different tasks at once.
I tend to show up early to meetings and tasks, and usually finish before the allotted time.
Why is this important? Because it allows me to accomplish double to triple what most people do in an average day. I have found that there are many extra minutes in a twenty-four hour period. How you use those minutes may be the difference between being extra productive and wasting your time.
Although you may find this unbelievable, the reason I am so efficient is because I like to finish. I am lazy by nature. I want to have the extra time to sit around and read a book or lounge on the couch.
Doc G? Lazy?
No, really. I am one of the most hard-working lazy people you know.
The Bad
Efficiency is one thing, rushing is another. And I rush with the best of them. I bound out of bed every morning and spend the rest of the day running. Does this sound fun to you? Some days it is, but others it is incredibly tiring. My sense of time stress won’t let me slow down. I am always pushing to finish so I can get to the next thing.
This is annoying. Not only for me, but those poor people who have to deal with me on a daily basis. While others want to socialize and relax, I am like the energizer bunny. I never slow down.
I’m sure you have been blessed by dealing with someone like me. Likely you roll your eyes after they leave the room and then pop a sedative.
The Ugly
Dad, will you stop rushing me please?
I would like to think that this is not a regular complaint from my kids, but I would be lying. Sometimes my time stress bleeds into family events. I can see the look on my wife’s face as I zoom out the door and she doesn’t even have her jacket on yet.
This little foible of mine is often more than just a foible, and effects my relationships with the people I love.
As much as I try to slow down, I find that my best intentions are like kittens to this lion that afflicts me.
Final Thoughts
Time stress is my biggest mental health issue. It has been with me since childhood, and seems only to abate for brief periods. It is hard to let go of this habit that has made me ultra successful. A habit, however, that strains relationships and annoys people.
I have become intentional about trying to break the pattern, and use meditation and guided visualization to work on this issue. I also try to force myself to be late occasionally by placing roadblocks in the way of timeliness.
Some days I am better than others.
It’s a work in progress.
I think this another personality trait we share. I am the type of person that likes to arrive at a place with a time buffer “just in case something happens along the way.”
This may end up arriving at the airport way earlier than needed, or at a performance/concert before doors open. Fortunately I think my girlfriend has adapted/accepted this behavior pattern and it hasn’t caused too much strife. Although she will sometimes shake her head when I say I will pick you up at this time for an event at that time.
Yep. My wife too. It is hard to change such an ingrained habit.
We all have our struggles, man. I struggle a lot with patience. While I am not known for being overly punctual (definitely arrive right on time most of the time and not a minute sooner), I do feel the push to get things done. My ever growing “to-do” list starts to stress me out when it gets beyond a point. That stress leads to me being angry with those that I love.
P.S. Your hard-working lazyness reminds me that my soccer coach in high school used to call me the “dumbest smart kid” he knew. I had a penchant to make mistakes that were due to a lack of common sense back then. (Maybe I still do now?)
TPP
Being a doctor is not easy on patience. We lose it quickly.
Man, that is who I have become in a big way since I had kids. Always trying to rush them out the door or through meals because the next thing has to happen or else the thing after that will be late. Not an easy thing to let go of, that’s for sure!
I have to be reminded to slow down a lot.
I’m with you on the food part of it, I have to constantly keep myself in check mentally when I’m eating so I don’t overeat. I’m kind of the opposite of your other issue. I’m super laid back and rarely ever stressed about anything, so I don’t have the sense of urgency I should always have but unfortunately this also leads to me having to rush through things!
I wish I could learn the laid back thing.
Maybe it will get better as you get older. Do you think?
My dad is like that. He’s always in a rush. He mellowed out a little bit, but still more rushing than I’d like.
I’m a bit more relaxed.
I think if this is going to get better, I am going to have to work on it.
Time stress is real for me too! I feel like I need to be working on something all the time. Before I know it it’s 1am and I force myself to go to bed. You know the one down time I get to enjoy? A long airplane flight where there is nowhere to go.
Me too. Know when can call me!
Time stress mattered to me when it became about too many plates spinning and too many “futures to decide”. In an OR you have a schedule to do. Let’s say 50 cases. The cases get divvied up between the players some cases take longer like triple A ‘s or brain surgery some short like tonsils and knee scopes. You need to meet the expectation of each surgeon and the inefficient habits of each surgeon. Surgeons are tremendous time wasters. Your staff is constantly chomping at the bit to “get out” and dump their schedule on someone else. These are all about a kind of “profit maximization”. Each of these players wants their profit maximized and generally at someone else’s expense. It is a form of selfishness. It is also a form of self delusion. The delusion is ripping off someone else’s time is somehow legit. The job is the job, and each job takes it’s rightful precedent. You can’t really call yourself super efficient when you aren’t attending, as in paying attention. “Dad don’t rush me” merely means you are not present to the task, but somewhere else.
My tact was to do one case at a time and not be floating somewhere out in a future drama. My tact was to expect my staff to do their jobs. My tact was to not put up with surgeon bull. We all make the most money with the least stress when we practice parsimony. We all make the most money with the least stress when we live on the efficient frontier. That means you don’t pay for a tiny bit more efficiency with a whole lot more stress and drama. That cost is too expensive and excessive. It screws with people’s lives and makes people want to quit. Proper “time risk” is just a matter of discipline and having enough power to say no to perverse demands but having the creativity find an acceptable sane alternative. The job is still the job and needs to get done regardless of the drama so focus on the job.
I’m still trying to find the “acceptable sane alternative”!
I have minimal time stress since I try to be organized and I also delete frequently. My “to do” list could be long but I realized I almost never get around to it so why delude myself.
I adopted a “never run for buses” philosophy a while ago. I spend more time thinking than actually doing. If I am to expend energy, it better be worth it or enjoyable.
My husband obviously rushes around at work but is super chill at home. He rushes so he can get home faster. Whenever the anesthetists, or OR decides to cancel cases, he just says meh and enjoys the time off instead. His other colleagues have minor coronaries when this happens.
I have a way longer “fork it” List than a must do list.
My kids always enjoyed themselves more when we were not rushing around! I probably “miss out” on many things and I simply don’t care.
Also when working with patients, I noticed when you rush them, they come up with more issues. When I adopted a “takes as long as you need”, they would start limiting their complaints on their own. They would often apologize for taking up my time when it was barely longer than usual. Win win as I often say.
People tend to treat you well when you extend them similar courtesy.
We all need a longer “fork it” list.
Very interesting! I am on the opposite side of the spectrum, where I feel that I am living in my own time zone. I get a ton done, very accurately, but have to work hard to be on time, not take on too much, or stop and put something aside – to organize and fit it in later . I have a hard time moving at warp speed.I meditate daily. My slower pace has an impact on our family in many ways. Your personal . speed and actions do too. Your details of your hardworking laziness. Don’t sound like laziness to me. Don’t mean to be preachy, but for all that you do, you need to give yourself a break. Sounds like there’s a peace that you are looking for. You’ll find it.
I hope so. the first step is being aware.
While I have slowed down a bit in my half-FIRE, it’s not enough for me. I’d like to slow more but my side hustles have introduced some time stress. I guess that’s okay because it’s what I want to do, and if I didn’t have any time stress I’d likely find something to fill that gap out of necessity.
We are great at filling the gap.
How refreshing! A successful person who admits they are lazy like me. I was always lazy but it compelled me to be extremely efficient and to invent new ways to get more done with less tedious effort. That’s a super valuable skill for an engineer like me and it led me to a great career and launched me way past my much harder working competition. I never really had the time stress thing though, maybe because I worked pretty quickly up to where I was the boss and nobody watched my time or output much anymore. I delegated everything and what I did ceased to be very important as long as my people got their stuff done, which they usually did without much prodding from me. That was very interesting content. You have such a high degree of self knowledge.
Hopefully that self knowledge will do me some good.