Be Vulnerable
Be Vulnerable
There are so many things that I could tell you to be. Be brave. Because change and opportunity are scary and fear is a natural precursor to achievement. Be kind. Because there are fewer things in life that will bring such natural and unadulterated joy. Be humble. Because the first sign that you are plodding off in the wrong direction is the undying certainty you feel in the rightness of your chosen direction. Be all these things because they will lead you to wealth both materially and metaphysically. And most of all, be vulnerable.
Throw yourself into an uncomfortable situation and see what happens. Reveal your deepest secret, your most embarrassing truth. Embrace your own littleness in this big gaping universe.
Put yourself out there.
Blogging
I started blogging in 2005. My first medical blog post was about one of my deepest darkest secrets. I wrote about the day medicine broke me. The day I became untouchable because I built up so many walls that nothing could break through. I blocked out not only fear and pain, but joy and love. And i was dead inside.
For a time.
With this blog post I learned how to be vulnerable. Which led to 13 more years of medical blogging. Two self published books. Trips around the world to talk about social media and medicine. And a slew of personal relationships that have enriched my life.
Public Speaking
Public speaking was a natural progression from blog writing. People who read my blog would ask me to address their institution or speak at their conference. But I struggled with message. I had no interest in talking about the mechanics of medicine nor instruct on medical knowledge.
I wanted to talk about the bigger things. The pain of medicine and the transcendence of the doctor/patient relationship. But to do this I had to be vulnerable. I had to stand naked in front of an audience and bare my most problematic stories. Painful stories. Difficult stories.
Yet standing on an empty stage without podium or Powerpoint to hide behind, I found something quite contradictory.
Vulnerability is powerful.
Personal Finance
I threw myself headfirst into the financial independence community with neither credentials nor following. I only had my stories, my honesty, and my plan to be vulnerable. So I talked about my wall of fear and transfer of addictions. I documented my struggles with medicine.
My vulnerability has been rewarded. Not only have I met some of the greatest people in the world, I have been accepted, and even celebrated at times. My content has been shared. I have been recorded on podcasts.
And tomorrow I am going to Little Rock Arkansas to speak at CampFI South.
Final Thoughts
Some of the greatest things have happened to me because I was willing to be vulnerable. In fact, I can’t point to a single situation in which such actions have led to regret.
I can not tell you how to live your life. I can’t give you the secrets to economic or emotional success. But I can tell you that the act of sharing vulnerability creates incredibly profound and nurturing experiences.
Don’t be afraid and miss out.
Vulnerability builds trust and authenticity. People believe what you are saying when they know that you are being vulnerable. This certainly helps with public speaking and with relationships.
Thanks for the reminder that vulnerability is a good thing.
TPP
I agree a hundred percent about building credibility. It is certainly part of my platform and the trust I try to build.
This is one of the reasons I dislike social media. People only show the good parts of their life, not the bad ones. They’re not being vulnerable. It just foments envy and depression.
Brene Brown’s books are the best to read about this topic. Good luck at Camp FI!
In the medical biz I learned one thing about this: Dare to be average. It’s in “being” average you become who you actually are, and once you do that balance is achievable. Knock em dead.
Gasem, I can never imagine you average at anything.
I’m in the Eastern Sierras hiking up steep trails that were “beyond” my capability back when I was working, and it definitely leaves me vulnerable. I almost fainted at 11,000 feet on day one, but I made it. What you are talking about is harder though. An uphill battle we wage throughout our lives to be ourselves, even if it is embarrassing, and to tell our stories, even if we are ashamed. Have a great time at Camp FI. I’ll bet a lot of the people attending will have thoughts sparked by your willingness to express yourself in this way.
Thank you. I think by telling our stories we are opening ourselves up to vulnerability, but also the richness of being heard.
I agree 98% and applaud you 100% wholeheartedly for coming out with your work and opinions in public forums . Yes, Authenticity and vulnerability is vital to living a life of truth. But. The but is that you need to know yourself first and also have a good sense of boundaries and discretion. Not everyone does. Otherwise, vulnerability , can be an invitation to some less than positive responses.
Definitely true. I think having a good sense of your own boundaries from the start is important.