The Fire That Burns

Art

The fire behind my career as an art mogul came from the pure and unadulterated joy brought from admiring and collecting individual pieces.  The business sprung from my attempts to dress the walls of my then new townhouse at affordable prices.

As the business grew, something unexpected happened.  The fire died.  The embers spattered and spluttered and eventually all that was left was smoke.  My hands were so used to caressing fine works of art, that I no longer was awed by their intricacy.  They became paper and canvas, invoices and dollar signs.

Years later, I still marvel at the assorted collection hanging on my walls, left over from the old business.  But it’s just not the same.  There is a certain beauty in the unobtainable that becomes coarse when hands touch canvas.  The thrill apparently was short-lived.

Medical Blogging

I first became enthralled in the medical blogosphere around 2005.  I jumped from blogger to blogger devouring their content.  In every post I found a little familiar part of myself.  Whether reading about the experience of doctoring, or some new medical breakthrough, I had found my people.

My joy of reading other’s words, lit a fire under me, and drove me to write.  I signed up for a page on blogger and was off to the races.  I wrote for days, then months, then years.  I poured onto page my thoughts, and dreams, and hurts.  Spilling my own blood towards the screen, I published my most secret intimacies.

And something unexpected happened.  I completely stopped reading all other blogs.  My fingers busy typing, my mind racing toward every new possible topic, I turned inward.

I turned away from my fellow bloggers.  Intoxicated by the process of writing, I had little emotional energy to imbibe others thoughts and words.  The years passed, my blog grew, and ten years later I was still writing.  My reading, however, had fallen off.

Personal Finance Blogging

My introduction to the personal finance blogosphere came from Jim Dahle over at The White Coat Investor in 2014.  Once again, the fire inside drove me to dive into the depths of the FIRE community.  I read my way through the Mustache archives.  I searched out bloggers of all different stripes and philosophies.  I read, and read, and read.

Then I started to write here at DiverseFI.

Once again, I have started to feel as if cold water has been flung into the pit.  The more I write, the less I read.  My patience grows thin even as I try to hold on.  I find myself skimming through posts and missing key points.

It’s as if the process of writing has quenched some thirst that I was unknowingly searching for,  but unable to find in all my reading.

And I desperately don’t want this to happen again.

In the meantime, I have found that certain types of post still catch my eye every time:

1. Weekly Roundups: I love when a blogger does the hard work for me and finds everything I missed that week.
2. Income/Landlord/blog progress reports: I still enjoy seeing how my friends are doing.
3. Novelty posts: when someone writes about something I either have never thought of or presented a problem in a  new way.
4. Real estate blogs that cover investment opportunities that I don’t understand.
5. Stock picking posts: Although I am not a picker myself, I love the complex thinking that actually goes into trying to buy the right stock at the right time.

My Apology

I am going to try to make things different this time.  I am going to try to get out of my writing head and stay engaged.  If you are a blogger and I haven’t commented on your blog recently, but you are gazing at this page, know that I am still out here.

Roaming the blogosphere,

reading your thoughts and words.