An Unfortunate Truth
An Unfortunate Truth
OK. Things were starting to go well. I was making friends. I even got some comments on my blog. A few tweets. A few retweets. I was starting to fit in. Maybe I could hide my unfortunate truth and be one of those people. You know, FIRE bloggers. Those peeps who leap financial hurdles effortlessly, prance around in second-hand capes, and giggle in the face of insurmountable debt.
That could be me. The real me.
Too bad I have to ruin it. Because I’ll never fit in. They will never let me wear a thrift store cape when they learn the truth. It’s an ugly truth. An unfortunate truth. Shhh! Come close and I’ll tell you. Wait. Can anyone hear? Come closer. Closer.
I Spend Money!
A lot of it. Wait, wait…don’t tell Mr. Tako (He’s been eyeing my cape!)
I mean, I spend three to four times what some of these FIRE bloggers spend. Root of Good? Forget about it.
Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t spend frivolously. In fact I prefer to see myself like the guys over at ChooseFi. A valuist. But I find value in many things. In fact, I rarely spend money on myself (besides my stealth wealth fail). Life just cost money. I live in a relatively high cost of living area. I have a mortgage. We need extra childcare since both me and the missus have demanding jobs. We broke the budget and sent my daughter to private school after a particularly bad year in public.
So lets look at just a few of my budget items:
Mortgage 22K
Private School 20K
Childcare 25k
Charitable 20K
Travel 15K
And this is just the tip of the stack of hundreds. That’s a budget of like 3MM (Mr Money Mustache) already.
Do I sweat this? No. I have planned accordingly. I have fired up FireCalc so often that I think sometimes the creators are messing with the numbers to get me to leave their damn site.
In other words, I don’t think frugality has such a specific definition.
I think it is in the eye of the wallet holder.
I’m in your camp. Please let me in. MMM would punch me in the face.
Ha! Don’t worry. He doesn’t read my blog anyway!
Everybody’s pushing a shtick anyway, narrative mixed with “truth”. Example: everybody is talking about “retiring early” but they all have 16 side gigs, including MMM. How does that constitute retirement? Seems like half the crowd isn’t retired they just no longer are employees and are willing to live on Ramen and the smell of daffodils. Whatever blows your skirt up, it’s all good!
Hey Gasem. I agree we use “retire early” loosely. I think it’s more W2 independence.
Private school tuition is a killer. We had our kids in both public and private in various locations and I can sympathize with you. But I do think you might get kicked out of the frugal blogger club for your $15K in travel expenses! Don’t you know about the National Park pass???? Just kidding 🙂
Yes. I think I am kicked out of the Frugal Blogger Club!
Charitable donations $20K, congrats!
I like it “in the eye of the wallet holder”:)
I consider myself frugal ..but we did invest in our kids education (Private school), competitive sports and travel, it was a choice , it was OUR choice!
As long as you are happy and you are not stuck doing something you don’t want to do (financially free)…then do whatever floats your boat!
Totally agree!
Good site, Doc G. Found yours through RF NW directory, which says you have $6.3 MM net worth. With this, you are clearly in a different league, so the rules of frugal FIRE bloggers don’t apply! Heck, you are being too frugal if you spend less than $150K a year because your assets are “too big to fail”! The numbers may be different, but the percentages and SWR always work the same. I am not in your NW league, but for a doctor of a different kind (Ph.D. in Engg), I am doing OK. I would welcome your comments on my articles. Look forward to reading more of your writing.
Thanks ten factorial! I actually spend more like 175k per year. Those were just some examples of expenses. I’ll check your blog out!
I am learning the path to FI is not the same for everyone. The bottom line is the bigger the gap between earning and spending equals a faster path to FI. My path may be slower than some because of a smaller gap. Shawn @ TheSmartFi.
Yes..the gap paved the way. But that gap is only as important as finding happiness in wherever you are. I’m working on that. FI does not automatically equal the perfect life.
Another great post! I often find myself down this line of thinking because I also spend (what some would consider) a good bit of money. Maybe naive but I think everyone belongs because of the PERSONAL part of PF. Everyone’s path is going to look different and I am glad to have your voice here balancing out how to buy toilet paper for $1. Thanks for your contributions!
Thanks Allyson. I appreciate your kind comments. I call the blog “diversefi” because I think we all have unique voices!
Just saw this post, Doc G. I’m in your camp. I plan to do a blog article on this topic, which will no doubt earn the scorn of the FIRE community. But with two young kids (and an adult son still on the payroll), plus alimony and a mortgage in a high-cost area, I’m usually clocking in north of $15k per month, even after cutting necessary expenses to the bone. We are spending a good chunk less than we earn, and investing the difference, so we are on track, but I feel your pain.
I agree on the 15k. These certainly are the benefits of high income.
Hmm. I spend more than might be considered frugal among many of the FIRE crowd. Though not NEARLY as much as you do.
I think frugality to me is about spending thoughtfully and not “wasting” money.. And working towards being financially independent. That is going to look different for everyone based on their income and goals. Point is, be thoughtful and make good choices for you.
I’m curious, if the value another commenter pointed out is correct, do you think you are already financially independent?
I agree with some that it’s not so much about retiring early, as putting yourself in the position to work, whatever that means and however you do it, because you want to. For myself, that’s part of why I started to blog. I need to start making some more meaningful connections with people who think like me.
Personally, I don’t think complete lack of work would suit me. Unless I can travel the world full time (and, I’m not affording that… Ever), I’m a little to lazy to have NO job. Sad but true. I feel much more productive and like I’m contributing to my family by working. I just hate being stuck working or unwilling to explore unknowns because I need the paycheck.
I think there is a difference between frugality and being a valuist. I’m willing to pay if it has value to me.
My family is financially independent. We choose to keep working.
DocG, I am in the same boat. I have trouble identifying with many of the FIRE bloggers, let alone the MMMs and GoCurryCrackers (whatever the hell that is). I use money to make my life enjoyable and easy when I can and am not afraid to pay up for higher quality or better service.
I have used the term “selective extravagance” to define the occasional splurge. I don’t splurge on everything, but when I do, I make sure it is worthwhile and do so without regret.
I like “selective extravagance”. I also use the term “Valuist”. I’m willing to pay for value!