The Cost of Negative People
The Cost of Negative People
Before pursuing half retirement, I had a nursing home which I loved working at. They sent me lots of great patients, the staff was kind and caring, it was an ideal setting. About five years ago, the administrator who ran the facility retired, and was replaced by a new one with a clear chip on his shoulder. And that’s when I truly learned the cost of negative people.
My idyllic work setting turned bleak at the flip of a switch. He was overbearing, aggressive, and questioned me at every turn. It mattered little that the quality of care was high, and the patients and families were happy.
It was only after the boon of financial independence and leaving clinical practice that I realized how years of dealing with this gentleman truly wore me down.
It’s Not Just Me
After talking with friends and colleagues, I realized that it is not just me. Many people have a nemesis in the workplace that saps the joy out of their jobs. Usually it is just a person or two. But that person has an oversized effect on happiness.
It may be a boss. Or a client. Or peer. It may be someone who is truly talented and powerful, or just a thorn in your side that stubbornly won’t come out.
The point is that these people bring negativity into your life. And the cost of negative people can be great.
Mastery
The beauty of any difficult occupation is the joy of mastery. After doing something for long enough, we hope to become expert. This expertise allows a to negotiate our world with grace and ease. The cost of negative people is that they disrupt mastery.
By the time the new administrator took over, I was excellent at maneuvering the pitfalls of the nursing home, treating the patients in the best manner, and staying up to date with all the most important paperwork.
Within a few short weeks, he changed all that. He instituted new rules which slowed me down, but had no obvious benefit. He incessantly audited my work even though it was among the best in the facility. And he got in the way of my relationships with patients and their family members.
Joy
A few months after administrators changed, I found myself trying to avoid the facility on a regular basis. The cost of negative people is joy. He had sucked all the joy out of my long standing relationship with the facility.
I started dreading each trip I was forced to make. I kept trying to circumvent his ever prying eyes by showing up early in the morning or late at night when he was less likely to be there.
Even, I feared, my mastery was being challenged because I had to change my good habits in order to avoid his wrath and oversight. No one was being served by this behavior.
Solutions
Ultimately, my solution was simple. I had to remove myself from the situation. I resigned my position (as I did with all my nursing homes) when I decided to pursue half retirement.
And all the sudden the clouds parted. Six months later, I am still amazed at the cost of negative people. I am so relieved to no longer have this person in my life. He was a ceaseless mass of unhappiness that glommed onto any living thing in his proximity.
Looking back, I realize that there have been many people like this in my work life going back through the years. Especially if you are employed, it is often hard to avoid them.
Final Thoughts
The cost of negative people can feel unbearable. They can remove all sense of mastery and joy from the workplace. It was only after pursuing financial freedom that I was able to disconnect myself.
Unfortunately, not everyone has that option.
I wish you all good luck.
When the cost of doing business overwhelms the relative return the bargain becomes unsustainable. I quit for similar reasons. I realized an extra million or two would make zero difference to my future sustainability, but every day I went to work I incurred 4 possible years of additional malpractice risk. I had no leverage on my future needs since I have plenty in store, so there isn’t much point in going to work, only to come home each day with increased risk.
Definitely a risk/benefit calculation.
That’s so wise, one thing I love about your posts is that you are unrelentingly positive. Even when dealing with some of life’s tougher problems. I haven’t had many negative people in my work life, for which I’m very grateful!
People have accused me of being positive in the past. I deny it relentlessly!
I heard you on the Choose FI podcast recently, so I decided to check your site out This is the first post I read, and the timing is perfect. I quit working for a large corporation about 8 months ago to pursue more meaningful work at a small business (3 to 4 employees). It started out great, but the owner has slowly sapped the joy out of my work. The hard part is that he is a friend. I just didn’t know what it would be like working for/with him. He has a type A personality, so it’s hard to ignore his feelings and emotions. If he’s happy, the office is happy. If he’s not, then we are in for a long day. I decided to talk with him about it and while the conversation was uncomfortable, we came out of the meeting with a semi-clear path forward and things have been better since then. That didn’t stop me from telling him I am taking a 6 month mini-retirement starting in January before my girlfriend starts residency 😎. I appreciate the post and can 100% relate. Looking forward to reading more of your content.
Thanks for reading. Hope you have time to check out The What’s Up Next Podcast too! Sometimes a little space from the negative person helps. Good luck!