Oh, The Money You’ll Save!

Oh, The Money You’ll Save!

The Money You'll Save

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re money is invested in Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer your investments
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where your money goes.

You’ll look up and down term sheets. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to put my money there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to take a random walk down Wall Street.

And you may not find any mortgages
you’ll want to pay down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as cash heavy
and frugal as you.

And then things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just keep on investing.
Your net worth will start rising too.

Oh, The Money You’ll Save!

Your balances will be on their way up!
You’ll be seeing great heights!
You’ll join the high earners
who soar to high heights.

Your net worth won’t lag behind, because you’ll have all you need.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you blog, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, your dividends will top all the rest.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that capital losses
and bear markets
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your investments will fall lower.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a stock market Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Holding on to those assets and not selling
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place where the market could give you one on the chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare jump back in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go back in, should you dollar cost average or jump…
or jump just three-quarters? Or, maybe, some other lump?
Or hold off a little longer and wait for the Dow to bump?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a tenant to go
or a windfall to come, or a stock to grow
or the mail to come, or a side hustle to go
or the phone to ring, or the pattern to show
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for market capitalization to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the client to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for a Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for your rich Uncle Jake
or a pot of gold, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or Paula Pant
or some investment advice, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape the bear market
all that waiting and staying
You’ll find the bright places
where the ChooseFi podcast is playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more your net worth will ride high!
Ready for any downturn under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, The Money You’ll Save!

There is work to be done!
There are travel points to be scored. There are free flights to be won.
You’ll try not to bumble                                                                                                                                                                                      Your blog will be done                                                                                                                                                                                        You can’t even help it                                                                                                                                                                                           The Rockstar Rumble will be won

Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes you won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll have lonely times too.
Blogs that can’t win
’cause they will be read by only you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone with financial fears
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
your fears might scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the market be foul.
On you will go
though the bears will prowl.
On you will go
though your tenants howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your checkbook may get sore
and your accounts may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your financial problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange investments as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that your finances
are a Great Balancing Act.
Never foget to be a true money boss.
And never mix up your traditional with your Roth

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MAKE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Bogle or Collins or JD
or some strange guy with a big mustache named Pete
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Financial Independence is waiting.
So…get on your way!

 

Lovingly adapted from Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go

Doc G

A doctor who discovered the FI community but still struggling with RE.

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16 Responses

  1. Miss Mazuma says:

    LOVE THIS!! Great minds think alike. 🙂

  2. Awesome man, unless you’re a natural rhyme-dropper that must’ve taken quite a while to write. Well done!

  3. BusyMom says:

    I may prefer this to the original 🙂

  4. Tawcan says:

    Haha I love this. I was just reading the original version by Dr. Seuss to my kids last night. 🙂

    • Doc G says:

      I used to read it to my kids all the time. They are now 10, 13 and not interested. I still pick it up from time to time to read again!

  5. Rocky says:

    How could you keep up the rhyming scheme for so long?!!? I think you’re missing your true calling haha. Great work!

  6. JoeHx says:

    Lol! This was a lot of fun!

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